Delegations from across Italy visited all European capitals in the hope of securing some much needed financial handouts in return for not showing them a Silvio Berlusconi doing a sexy dance in nothing but a bandana and a thong.
Diplomats across Europe said the program was met with a mixed response.
“Apparently France were unmoved until they threatened to egg everone in Paris, so they ended up chucking a couple of billion in spare change into their bucket.”
“The Germans offered them some battenburg slices before the Italians went apeshit. They settled on a few handfuls of Quality Street.”
“To be honest, Greece didn’t really get into the spirit of the evening, and when Italy knocked on their door they simply threw a bucket of warm piss at them. It’s a good job some of them like that sort of thing.”
Italy seeking handouts
Experts are predicting that a successful night of trick or treating could see an escalation into stink-bombing and other juvenile atrocities.
An EU spokesperson said, “We should simply never give in to demands for money with menaces. Whether that menace is a nuclear device, or a banana stuffed into your exhaust pipe.”
“Western civilisations do not negotiate with terrorists, no matter how good their costumes.”
