The Tina Fey lookalike and part-time Governor of Alaska declared on national radio that she would not be seeking nomination – a major blow to those who expected her successful presidential bid to usher in an end to all civilisation as told in the Mayan prophesies.
Mrs Palin explained that after really thinking it over she found out that thinking was too much work and chose not to enter the race soon after.
‘We thought this was it’
Although alternate scenarios for the End Times have been presented, including Earth’s collision with a black hole or a passing asteroid, historians remain doubtful that any other occurrence would be as likely to usher in the end of the world as a successful presidential bid for the Wasilla native.
With the announcement, Palin loses the opportunity to play the key role in the end of human civilisation and leaves the credibility of the Mayan 2012 prophesy in tatters.
“Unfortunately, we don’t see anything that could have the same impact,” said disappointed Mayanist scholar Malcom Davis. “Being sucked into a black hole would be bad, but there would still be a slim possibility of recovery.”
“A President Sarah Palin was the one thing that could destroy all with zero chance of survival,” he added solemnly.
With no other events capable of such disastrous consequences, believers of the Mayan prophesy have been left to face the troubling possibility that the destruction of the world may not come to pass next year.
No hope for the hopeless
One disappointed believer Jackson Mitchell said Sarah Palin’s decision to pull out of the 2012 race meant he was no longer sure that the world was doomed after all.
“I’m at a loss to be honest with you,” he said. “If Palin isn’t going to run, what other catastrophic event could be responsible for bringing to an end the world as we know it…maybe President Rick Perry?”
Critics however, have been quick to point out the unlikeness of that scenario being as far-fetched as Rick Perry thinking rational people would vote for Rick Perry.
Mr Davis gave it little hope: “He’s crazy sure, but he’s no Sarah Palin. I’m afraid the Mayans might have just gotten this one wrong.”
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