Sociologists are hailing a significant breakthrough in the understanding of human nature, after finding out that people carrying the Olympic torch also quite like having lots of money.
With torches listed on eBay for as much as £100,000, those lucky enough to have been given one to carry for 300 metres have said that a memories of their experience and a souvenir and is nice, but not quite as nice as a pocket full of fifties.
Torch bearer Simon Williams told us, “I was nominated for my good work within the community, which always gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.”
“You do you know what else makes me nice and warm? The new central heating I can buy with cash I get from a moron for this silly torch thing.”
Olympic Torch sales
Critics have said that people wanting money for things is just a further sign that the society is falling down around our ears and that the country is going to hell in a handbasket.
Non torch bearer Mike Jones said, “I applied to be a torch bearer, but didn’t get in, so I don’t see why those who did should get some free money that I can’t get.”
“Interest in having money should have been part of the disqualification criteria when selecting the torch bearers.”
“I’m sure there are plenty more deserving people out there perfectly capable of pretending not to like money in order to be a torch bearer.”
“You’re talking to one right now.”
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Shock as public discovers that Olympic torch bearers quite like money
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