Posted by Imp (#4) 377 days ago (http://newsthump.com)
The union representing painfully thin, under-age glamour models has slammed Vogue magazine’s decision to only photograph ‘healthy adults’ in future.
The union, ‘III’ (members voted against using any of the fatter letters) sat for three hours to discuss the ramifications, whilst staring in disgust at a jelly bean and a slice of cucumber.
Fashion magazines have been criticised in the past for promoting unhealthy role-models.
Constantly showing images of unrealistic ‘ideals’ has even led some zombies to starve themselves back to life, only to end it all, after comparing themselves to Victoria Beckham.
Zara Greengage Stanley Ffarr, 12 year-old head of the union, disagrees. “I’m feeling a lot of jealousy in this room, especially from plump adults”, claimed Ffarr, who then resigned after noticing her pelvis ‘looked fat’.
Vogue’s announcement coincides with their poaching of Jim Harpur, senior photographer at the National Geographic. Harpur courted controversy recently with a cover shot depicting a size 0 Walrus, eating a rice cracker while having her tusks done.
As Harpur explained, “even nature could be beautiful, if only it put some effort in.”
“No-one wants to be reminded how natural the world around them can look”, insisted Harpur. “That’s why I Photoshop everything, even tape worms.”
Harpur plans to use this experience to recreate starving child muses, by manipulating images of moderately nourished teenagers.
Vogue’s editors are proud of their decision, which should bring some equality to the world of beauty. “Not everyone can aspire to be a malnourished 14 year-old with kidney failure”, admitted one.
“Besides, times are tough, and we have to be more realistic. It’s a lot cheaper to hire some bloated, 8-stone 17 year-old.”
.. OPEN LINK
Who Voted for this Story
We Made These:
The Daily Satire is your source of the latest and most popular news satire, political humor, and other things that clever people like you find funny. Take a look around, you'll find loads of cool stuff from political cartoons to spoof news, funny memes and social satire. Open an account, or log in using facebook, and you can sumbit your own links, publish your own satirical articles, follow your favorite writers, and vote on the best funny news stories of the day to help us choose what to promote from our 'latest' to our 'popular' sections. Click the 'About The Daily Satire' Link above for more in depth information
animals apocalection apple business cameron celebrity satire economy election entertainment facebook football funny gop gop candidates health herman cain humor internet law memes mitt romney music news newt gingrich obama olympics parody pictures police politics religion rick perry rick santorum romney satire science sex social media spoof sports technology television the onion tv uk us election video videos world 2012