the mission

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Posted by nsadeghi (#864) 111 days ago (Editorial)

-Blue, silver, white, gold, black. 6:30, 19:25, 7:25, 9:00, 23:45.
- Hilarious timing! What do they think we are? Couldn’t they arrange it better than this? Why not set the silver after, say the white at least? Super-low common sense is becoming so common!
- This is not how the top-notch hi-tech system works, you know that. The boss invested a fortune in the unmanned system proposal, and even had Steve come over to supervise the whole process. Don’t you realize the value?
- Oh yes! To foster a culture of continuous improvement. Pursue value, create value, and realize value. Am I remembering correctly? But what I can feel with all my body cells is we must get prepared to lose a hell lot of sleep, and I am already ex-haus-ted .
-exhausted? But your record says you have been here for 5 months only and barely had 8 missions accomplished …
- So? You hit higher just because of that coal mine tragedy. How did you cause the leak by the way? I can’t deny that you did an excellent job there, no wonder that guys look up to you as a legendary officer. But honestly speaking, have you ever managed to set a record of more than 5 per week under normal conditions?
-sure! Before this job rotation scheme. Alex and I teamed up as soon as he arrived, such unmatched chemistry was unheard of . As a team we set a peerless record of 7 per week, all prominent clients, and our individual reports were also outstanding.
- Ok outstanding comrade! No way that you could pull some string to re-arrange the timings then?
- You must be out of your mind, speaking like that. Are you sure you have attended the new member orientation program? And the onboarding campaigns? May be you need to go through the handbook again.
- Of course I have, I was awarded for my excellent results and productivity! You are offending me…
- Stop badgering and give it a shake. I am not your mentor and have no intention of wasting more time quibbling with you. Don’t forget to bring the clocks.
- Of course I won’t! With that notorious project of Swedish woman last month, no one in his right mind affords to forget about the clocks. By the way any updates on hers? Is she on the current year’s list or postponed to the next year because she might pose a challenge to our efficiency?
- I heard hers was sent back immediately to the headquarters to be re-winded , I am not quite sure but logically it will not be ready within this year. There are rumors that they are contemplating appointing a crisis officer to undertake the project. No wonder, with the scene she made over coming back from the realm of death and all that junk.
- Yes she made the headlines all over the world; media people are still spending a lot on her. A film is going to be made based on her story! Making money out of nothing…
- If we could possibly get down to the nitty-gritty, or am I asking for too much?
- You are not capable of socializing at all, doesn’t that hurt? Ok! Have you got anything on our clients in your bag of wonders? How old they are, what do they do? Would we need to apply for psychiatric treatment after the mission?
- I have got some details, very brief though. Blue clock is male, 87…
- That’s my guy! Won’t shed any tears over him. Silver?
- Silver…male, 48, dentist, married, a heavy drinker.
-got it. Pubs open out there at 19:00?
-sure man! White…
- let me guess: male, in his fifties, a bank clerk or like that.
- Well done! A cashier, actually.
-They tell me I have a good nose for this job. And… gold?
-Female, 42 , hairdresser, not married , but with a steady boy friend.

- I hate working with women. I can very well understand why they are let live longer than men. Will the boy friend terribly mind?

- No , no. He is already seeing someone else.

- Bastard! When is his clock due, any idea? I will take his on with immense pleasure.

- Talk to the boss about it. And our holy black clock goes to: male, 24, a promising medical science student. Angel of a guy.

- I knew there was a catch somewhere. Cause of death?

- Stabbing.

- Holy Knife! And the pleasure…is going to be mine?

- Yes , it says here that you pick up a fight with him and …

- And what about you?

- I am to keep the others away.

- Man! I do envy you. No other choice, I guess?

- As the new kid on the block, you can’t expect to be promoted in no time. The only way is to report 15 accomplished missions in one week.

- Yeah! But such projects are only given to senior officers like you. Who was telling me about this catch-22 thing in our top notch system the other day?

- Alex, how I miss you dude! Come on now, wrap up the clocks in my rob…the tickling will drive us nuts till tomorrow. And one more thing before we go. You have not heard about the latest rule, I gather?

- Almighty! Amendment or a new rule altogether? The guys in high office have made a religion of updating the rules, it seems.

-Regard it as you wish. The new rule says the clocks are handed to the clients during the last 30 seconds of the job. Not earlier than the last 30 seconds.

-Ok man! Not earlier than the last 30 seconds. Mind you , I find this the only logical and humanistic rule they have come up with. You buddy Alex, yes it was him in my case! Your buddy Alex was too impatient to polish off the job, and he just shoved the clock into my hands before even reaching out for my neck!

The end

.. (Editorial)

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