Syrian President Bahir Assad has been named as the new James Bond after activists declared that the Chinese and Russian veto of a UN resolution on Syria has given the dictator a 'licence to kill'.
Although the details of the film itself are still sketchy it is thought that the beloved hero will single-handedly foil a terrorist plot to bring down the government and replace it with 'mob rule'.
Assad, AKA Bond, must race against the clock to prevent this catastrophe which would see the country's fate 'thrown to the dogs', with any idiot or villain able to hold the country to ransom with a simple but dangerous device called a 'vote'.
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