http://thedailysatire.com Funny Spoof News, Social Satire, And Political Cartoons Tue, 15 May 2012 12:18:18 CDT en http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/amazing-stories-of-unlikely-animal-friendships-%7C-web-of-weird/ Tue, 15 May 2012 12:18:18 CDT wow Weird News 2 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/amazing-stories-of-unlikely-animal-friendships-%7C-web-of-weird/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/wow-weekly-weird-news-digest/
Top stories include the 'Super Cool Bra' (pictured) which contains fishtank design gel that can be frozen to provide a cooling effect in the summer sun, and also includes wind chimes, some weird science about dinosaur farts, and some super cute animals ]]> Fri, 11 May 2012 13:42:57 CDT wow Weird News 3 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/wow-weekly-weird-news-digest/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weekly-weird-news-in-pictures-04-may-2012/
This weeks top news stories include the world's fastest toilet, a 20 month erectin caused by a BMW motorbike, and an elephant who plays the harmonica. ]]> Fri, 04 May 2012 08:27:35 CDT wow Weird News 3 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weekly-weird-news-in-pictures-04-may-2012/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weekly-weird-news-pictures-27-april-2012-%7C-web-of-weird/
Top stories include: Kung Fu Hamster Attacks, Indecent YouTube Proposal, the fattest cat in the world, and plenty of others too. ]]> Fri, 27 Apr 2012 10:57:41 CDT wow Weird News 5 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weekly-weird-news-pictures-27-april-2012-%7C-web-of-weird/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/egypt-may-legalize-dead-spouse-sex-14-year-old-brides/ Thu, 26 Apr 2012 09:18:25 CDT wow Weird News 2 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/egypt-may-legalize-dead-spouse-sex-14-year-old-brides/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weekly-weird-news-in-pictures-20-april-2012-%7C-web-of-weird/
Featured stories include: The Wind Powered Car (see picture), A video of a baby doing pulls ups, the praying mantis photobomber, the 'Dwarf Empire' theme park, Hitler fish and a US high school which looks eerily similar to the Millenium Falcon in Star Wars. ]]> Fri, 20 Apr 2012 03:52:35 CDT wow Weird News 2 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weekly-weird-news-in-pictures-20-april-2012-%7C-web-of-weird/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weird-diets-and-other-bizarre-eating-habits-%7C-web-of-weird/
Some examples include the man who lives on Mars bars alone, and has done for 17 years, 'slimming soap', the beer and ice cream diet, and the 'breatharians' who think that they don't need to eat at all. ]]> Wed, 18 Apr 2012 13:05:28 CDT wow Weird News 2 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weird-diets-and-other-bizarre-eating-habits-%7C-web-of-weird/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weekly-weird-newsin-pictures-13-april-2012/
It seems to be hamster week in the UK, with two amazing hamster stories, and then there is the brilliant application of strategic eating on a New York subway, the world's most extreme eviction, and the hermit crab in the picture here, who now lives in a shell made out of lego. ]]> Fri, 13 Apr 2012 05:54:27 CDT wow Weird News 3 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weekly-weird-newsin-pictures-13-april-2012/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/5-bizarre-lucky-escapes-%7C-funny-lists/ Wed, 11 Apr 2012 06:13:42 CDT FunnyLists Weird News 3 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/5-bizarre-lucky-escapes-%7C-funny-lists/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weekly-weird-news-in-pictures-1/
This week's stories include the case of the curious dolpins, a place where you would have to be crazy to live...maybe, and the strange and beautiful natural phenomena captures in the photo I included here. ]]> Fri, 06 Apr 2012 05:46:39 CDT weirdoddtruenews Weird News 2 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weekly-weird-news-in-pictures-1/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weekly-weird-news-in-pictures/
Stories include the Chinese culinary delicacy of eggs soaked in children's urine, Zimbabwe sperm thieves in court, a pschopathic swan and the German outcry over an artist's creation of 'sHitler' toilet paper (see picture included here). ]]> Sat, 31 Mar 2012 06:47:20 CDT wow Weird News 2 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weekly-weird-news-in-pictures/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/crow-loves-sledging/ Sat, 14 Jan 2012 11:14:56 CST weirdoddtruenews Weird News 3 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/crow-loves-sledging/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/gun-lobby-rallies-around-santorum/
“A few weeks ago, when Newt Gingrich was shooting off his mouth, we thought that we’d found the guy for us, but then he started shooting from the hip and we began to wonder, how’s he going to hit anything that way?

“We took a look at Ron Paul. For a while there, we thought he was a straight shooter, but sometimes he goes off half-cocked and no one’s going to vote for a guy who’s got only half a cock.

“Don’t even get me started on Romney. You ask me, he’s a loose canon. Every time he turns around, he shoots himself in the foot. About a quarter of our constituency seems to like that because he can’t seem to miss but it’s got nothing to do with marksmanship. His problem is he aims to please.

“When you get right down to it, all of our candidates, except Santorum are stuffed shirts. That’s the reason he’s the only one who can wear a sweater vest.” ]]> Sat, 07 Jan 2012 17:17:41 CST Barrywilldorf Weird News 2 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/gun-lobby-rallies-around-santorum/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/lobbyist-demands-candidates-pledge-to-restore-feudalism/
After repeated demands for him to detail the ultimate objective of his campaign to require candidates for public office to swear an oath never to collect taxes, Grubby Ouldquest, the super-lobbyist that some have called “king-maker” finally admitted today that his real mission was to restore feudalism.

Holding a copy of the U.S. Constitution, Ouldquest pointed to the Preamble. “Look at this,” he said excitedly. “The purpose of our government is to ‘promote the general welfare.’ Welfare! This is nothing but a utilitarian SOCIALIST document and it ought to be just tossed in the trash heap of history where it belongs.”

When asked what he’d like to see replace the present government, Ouldquest didn’t miss a beat. “Feudalism,” he said, scrounging from that very same historical trash bin. “With feudalism, you didn’t need a government. Everything was private.

“What about roads and bridges?” a skeptic hollered from the back of the audience.

“Back in the good old days, you didn’t need roads,” Ouldquest replied, scowling. “You wanted to go somewhere, you just trampled over peasants’ fields. And if you came to a river, you waded, swam or hired a boatman — just like the way you get to Hell. And sure there were some bridges, but they were private too. It was pay as you go and that kept the peasants in their place.”

“What about armies, police, fire departments. Shouldn’t those be government functions?” someone challenged.

Smiling, Ouldquest delivered a ready response. “A thousand years ago, if you wanted soldiers, you hung a ‘help wanted’ sign on the parapet of your castle. When your private army wasn’t off trying to rob the guy in the neighboring castle, or starting fires, it was available to put them out. And since peasants had no rights to free speech or to a free press, you could use the same guys to keep them in line. It all worked out fine.”

“But they had taxes back then, didn’t they?” a reporter asked. “I mean, what was Robin Hood all about if it wasn’t interfering with the Sheriff of Nottingham’s tax collection activities? “

“Look” Ouldquest sniffed, “you must not have been paying attention. Robin Hood was a socialist. He was preventing the guys with the castles from collecting money from the peasants, money they needed to hire their private armies. It’s the guys in the castles, the job providers, I’m worried about, not the peasants whose fields are getting trampled. You start worrying about peasants, that’s when you get into crap like promoting the general welfare. “


]]> Wed, 04 Jan 2012 14:30:12 CST Barrywilldorf Weird News 2 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/lobbyist-demands-candidates-pledge-to-restore-feudalism/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/swedish-authorities-belive-amputated-legs-might-grow-back/
But rather than announcing this miracle to the world's scientific press they have chosen a rather unusual way of revealing this amazing fact to the world - by denying an electric wheelchair to a diabetic man who had both his lower limbs amputated on the grounds that they were "uncertain if the impairment was permanent".

I'd heard that military doctors were experimenting with treatments for injured soldiers that could regrow missing body parts (http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2011/11/regenerative-medicine-muscles/) but what is this? Has some strange military biotech escaped into the wild?

Follow the link to read the real story in full. ]]> Sat, 03 Dec 2011 07:47:10 CST weirdoddtruenews Weird News 2 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/swedish-authorities-belive-amputated-legs-might-grow-back/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/worlds-weirdest-news-stories-ebook-kindle-ebook/ 101 Funny Newspaper Headlines post on The Daily Satire's Funny Lists blog then you might like this ebook.

I started looking for the funniest / best ever weird news stories after being inspired b that post, but instead of starting the mammoth task of putting something together myself I came across this excellent Kindle ebook which has some really funny, weird and entertaining stuff. ]]> Fri, 02 Dec 2011 10:21:12 CST weirdoddtruenews Weird News 2 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/worlds-weirdest-news-stories-ebook-kindle-ebook/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/salmon-crossing-the-road-and-a-fishing-dog/ Thu, 01 Dec 2011 10:35:40 CST weirdoddtruenews Weird News 2 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/salmon-crossing-the-road-and-a-fishing-dog/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/this-weeks-weird-news-in-pictures-and-video/ Sun, 20 Nov 2011 12:50:23 CST weirdoddtruenews Weird News 2 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/this-weeks-weird-news-in-pictures-and-video/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weird-news-in-pictures-october-wk4-2011/ Fri, 28 Oct 2011 16:05:58 CDT admin Weird News 1 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weird-news-in-pictures-october-wk4-2011/ http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weird-news-in-pictures-october-wk2-/
Cyclist Hit By Speeding Antelope

Vietnamese Woman Baffles Doctors By Ageing 50 Years In A Few Days

Superhero Arrested In Seattle

Chinese Farmer Digs Up Tortoise Shaped Potato

The Worlds Largest Chocolate Bar ]]> Fri, 14 Oct 2011 09:35:28 CDT admin Weird News 1 http://thedailysatire.com/weird-news/weird-news-in-pictures-october-wk2-/