http://thedailysatire.com Funny Spoof News, Social Satire, And Political Cartoons Thu, 30 Aug 2012 01:26:10 CDT en http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/snooki-confirms-newborn-son-to-become-a-father/ Thu, 30 Aug 2012 01:26:10 CDT BSGossip Celebs 4 http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/snooki-confirms-newborn-son-to-become-a-father/ http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/brad-pitt-and-angelina-jolie-no-presents-please/
The couple stated that the reason why they decided to become husband... ]]> Tue, 21 Aug 2012 06:33:47 CDT pleaselikeme Celebs 2 http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/brad-pitt-and-angelina-jolie-no-presents-please/ http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/celebrity-fashion-fails-august-2012/ Sun, 19 Aug 2012 12:25:57 CDT TheDailyShadow Celebs 31 http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/celebrity-fashion-fails-august-2012/ http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/actresses-confused-about-how-to-get-roles-after-kirsten-stewart-fired-for-sleeping-with-director/ ]]> Wed, 15 Aug 2012 02:02:42 CDT BSGossip Celebs 6 http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/actresses-confused-about-how-to-get-roles-after-kirsten-stewart-fired-for-sleeping-with-director/ http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/lindsay-lohan-is-threading-on-very-thin-ice/
And in both cases she rear-ended the other vehicle which leads many to believe that she is just... ]]> Wed, 01 Aug 2012 05:30:04 CDT pleaselikeme Celebs 3 http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/lindsay-lohan-is-threading-on-very-thin-ice/ http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/china-ridicules-london-for-performance-by-%E2%80%9Cnational-disgrace%E2%80%9D%E2%80%A6-mr-bean-1/
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Cole had been asked to appear on the Graham Norton Show to respond to claims that she mimes her live performances. But due to a technical fault, her answers instead covered the finer points of sheep folding.
Fans of the singer were quick to offer her support on social media sites, claiming that she has always been one of the UK’s leading proponents of hill farming.
“Great tips on sheep dipping Cheryl! #coleknowsherbotflies”, tweeted 15 year-old Danny Green.
“Luv your sexy deep voice and persistent cough Cheryl #hopeitsnotscrapie”, said another.
Cheryl Cole miming controversy
Cole is used to critics claiming she mimes her live performances, but was visibly upset at suggestions she might be dubbed in real life.
“Fell farming communities are as vulnerable as the pastoral system on which they rely”, she exclaimed.
“Farmers should be rewarded for managing the countryside, and supporting a traditional way of life.”
A spokesman for Cole denied that anyone had interfered with her voice, and claimed that there ‘was probably something wrong with your ears’.
“It’s a bit sexist to suggest that attractive young women can’t be in touch with their more rugged, masculine side”, explained Nigel Freeman.
“Why shouldn’t she have spent nearly a minute hacking up phlegm from the back of her throat, and then make a noise a bit like she was shooting at foxes?”
Graham Norton was forced to call an early end to the show, after suspecting that his other guest, Gary Barlow, was being mimed by a child with learning difficulties.
Barlow’s interpreter later explained that he always sounds like that now, since he had his tongue cut out for touching the Queen’s elbow.


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The British comedian stood in awe as he gazed upon the concrete monstrosity and simply remarked "Damn!" (no pun intended).

Gervais was accompanied by his hair... ]]> Wed, 06 Jun 2012 03:42:02 CDT pleaselikeme Celebs 2 http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/ricky-gervais-addresses-those-persistent-drinking-rumors/ http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/arizona-immediately-bans-all-green-lantern-bobblehead-dolls-after-the-super-hero-announces-hes-gay/
According to Taffeta Kixx with the iRumors News Agency, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has just sig... ]]> Mon, 04 Jun 2012 04:03:58 CDT pleaselikeme Celebs 2 http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/arizona-immediately-bans-all-green-lantern-bobblehead-dolls-after-the-super-hero-announces-hes-gay/ http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/rob-pattinson-and-kristen-stewart-to-star-in-moonlight-the-very-last-shark-attack-movie-ever-promise/
According to the Motion Picture Coalition Commission each summer Hollywood movie studios release... ]]> Thu, 31 May 2012 15:34:36 CDT pleaselikeme Celebs 2 http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/rob-pattinson-and-kristen-stewart-to-star-in-moonlight-the-very-last-shark-attack-movie-ever-promise/ http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/top-ten-funny-celebrity-memes/ Thu, 24 May 2012 15:25:27 CDT FunnyLists Celebs 44 http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/top-ten-funny-celebrity-memes/ http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/top-10-funny-celebrity-look-alikes-%7C-funny-lists/ Mon, 21 May 2012 04:49:48 CDT FunnyLists Celebs 2 http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/top-10-funny-celebrity-look-alikes-%7C-funny-lists/ http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/is-tyra-banks-too-fat-to-model-for-vogue-magazine-1/
Banks, who also hosts TVs "America's Next Top Model," says Vogue magazines ban on models with eating disorders does not go far enough. She sat down for an interview, embracing a gigantic gag-sized Double Stuff Oreo.

"This is the United States -- we need more models who accurately represent our diverse, multicultural fast food culture," said Banks, with a comfy grip on her cookie.

Her new-found affinity for mounds of cellulite bulging out of her jeans reflects the new wave of heavier set models and "real women." She plans to put on an extra 50 pounds in the next year to keep up with this new crop of plus sized models. Still, she sympathizes with pop culture's positive view of thin women.

"I don't have a problem with skinny-girl images in the media -- but with today's technology, the thin simply have no place in the modeling world," said Banks, who quietly founded the Photoshop the Fat Away Foundation (PFAF) last year.

Banks also prasied the spiritual leader Buddha as a role model in the interview, noting that he "never talks but seems to think and eat a lot."

Backlash from this new wave of overweight models is just beginning, as the union of photographers is now demanding higher wages due to the exponential increase of unbelievable flatulence in the workplace.
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Bedroom Pillow Talk reported that one of Jolie's very close friends Winnie Suzy Willowick, 37, recently... ]]> Wed, 16 May 2012 11:27:33 CDT pleaselikeme Celebs 2 http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/angelina-jolie-continues-to-buy-brad-pitts-love-by-buying-him-a-1-6-million-helicopter/ http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/nicki-minaj-reveals-new-look/ Wed, 16 May 2012 09:42:51 CDT TheDailyShadow Celebs 2 http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/nicki-minaj-reveals-new-look/ http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/celebrities-lookalikes-from-history/ Thu, 10 May 2012 06:10:25 CDT TheDailyShadow Celebs 3 http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/celebrities-lookalikes-from-history/ http://thedailysatire.com/celebrity/vogue-decision-%E2%80%98fat-headed%E2%80%99-claims-union-for-skeletal-underage-models/
The union, ‘III’ (members voted against using any of the fatter letters) sat for three hours to discuss the ramifications, whilst staring in disgust at a jelly bean and a slice of cucumber.
Fashion magazines have been criticised in the past for promoting unhealthy role-models.
Constantly showing images of unrealistic ‘ideals’ has even led some zombies to starve themselves back to life, only to end it all, after comparing themselves to Victoria Beckham.
Zara Greengage Stanley Ffarr, 12 year-old head of the union, disagrees. “I’m feeling a lot of jealousy in this room, especially from plump adults”, claimed Ffarr, who then resigned after noticing her pelvis ‘looked fat’.
Healthy models
Vogue’s announcement coincides with their poaching of Jim Harpur, senior photographer at the National Geographic. Harpur courted controversy recently with a cover shot depicting a size 0 Walrus, eating a rice cracker while having her tusks done.
As Harpur explained, “even nature could be beautiful, if only it put some effort in.”
“No-one wants to be reminded how natural the world around them can look”, insisted Harpur. “That’s why I Photoshop everything, even tape worms.”
Harpur plans to use this experience to recreate starving child muses, by manipulating images of moderately nourished teenagers.
Vogue’s editors are proud of their decision, which should bring some equality to the world of beauty. “Not everyone can aspire to be a malnourished 14 year-old with kidney failure”, admitted one.
“Besides, times are tough, and we have to be more realistic. It’s a lot cheaper to hire some bloated, 8-stone 17 year-old.”


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