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<channel>
<title>The Daily Satire / 1hvone1 / All</title>
<link>http://thedailysatire.com</link>
<description>Funny Spoof News, Social Satire, And Political Cartoons</description>
<pubDate>Tue, 23 Nov 2010 19:06:56 -0600</pubDate>
<language>en</language>
<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Nun Has First Orgasm During TSA Pat-Down]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/nun-has-first-orgasm-during-tsa-pat-down/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/nun-has-first-orgasm-during-tsa-pat-down/"><![CDATA[Nun Has First Orgasm During TSA Pat-Down]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[A certainly unintended side-effect of the US Transportation Safety Agency's new, more extensive anti-terrorist pat-down is sudden orgasm for little old ladies as the inspector's hands reach sensitive private parts. Flying nuns seem particularly susceptible. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Tue, 23 Nov 2010 19:06:56 -0600</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>2</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/nun-has-first-orgasm-during-tsa-pat-down/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Obscene Football Halftime Show Shocks Nation]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/obscene-football-halftime-show-shocks-nation/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/obscene-football-halftime-show-shocks-nation/"><![CDATA[Obscene Football Halftime Show Shocks Nation]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Some 40 years after being humiliated due to a lost bet to fans of his arch rivals, a guest director exacted the ultimate payback - an obscenely choreographed marching band halftime show during this year's game against that hated enemy. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 18 Nov 2010 10:31:21 -0600</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>2</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/obscene-football-halftime-show-shocks-nation/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Mobsters Behind 2010 Dallas Cowboys Debacle?]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/mobsters-behind-2010-dallas-cowboys-debacle/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/mobsters-behind-2010-dallas-cowboys-debacle/"><![CDATA[Mobsters Behind 2010 Dallas Cowboys Debacle?]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[The only happy people in Texas this fall are in the brown paper bag industry, thanks to the horrid Dallas Cowboys NFL season thus far. These makers of Cowboy fans' new headwear are so wildly successful that the whole thing reeks of Mob involvement. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Wed, 10 Nov 2010 18:36:58 -0600</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/mobsters-behind-2010-dallas-cowboys-debacle/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[God Raises Hell About Earthlings on Chat Roulette]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/god-raises-hell-about-earthlings-on-chat-roulette/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/god-raises-hell-about-earthlings-on-chat-roulette/"><![CDATA[God Raises Hell About Earthlings on Chat Roulette]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[To voice His displeasure about Earthlings' killing and maiming in the name of religion, God goes on Chat Roulette and uses a push-up bra- and crotchless panties-wearing man about to wank off as His spokesman. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 07 Oct 2010 12:46:19 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/god-raises-hell-about-earthlings-on-chat-roulette/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[New Emu Economy Exhilarates Delaware]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/new-emu-economy-exhilarates-delaware/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/new-emu-economy-exhilarates-delaware/"><![CDATA[New Emu Economy Exhilarates Delaware]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[There's bold, audacious economic stimulus plans, then there's this: The state of Delaware invested big to launch the world's first emu racing series. And it's such a success that Delaware is now leading the nation out of the recession. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Mon, 04 Oct 2010 11:49:15 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/new-emu-economy-exhilarates-delaware/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Math Nerd Gets Jock Itch!]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/math-nerd-gets-jock-itch/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/math-nerd-gets-jock-itch/"><![CDATA[Math Nerd Gets Jock Itch!]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[A nerdy, wimpy, accountant dad is overcome with joy when his equally nerdy math whiz son is diagnosed with jock itch. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Tue, 28 Sep 2010 12:51:36 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/math-nerd-gets-jock-itch/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[C-SPAN Launches Political Scandal Fantasy League®]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/politics/c-span-launches-political-scandal-fantasy-league/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/politics/c-span-launches-political-scandal-fantasy-league/"><![CDATA[C-SPAN Launches Political Scandal Fantasy League®]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Taking advantage of the nationwide craze surrounding sports fantasy leagues, C-SPAN just launched its own U.S. Political Scandal Fantasy League®. Players will win big as their Capitol Hill draftees go down in flames for egregious and criminal behavior. Sure to be entertaining! ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 24 Sep 2010 12:26:31 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>Political Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/politics/c-span-launches-political-scandal-fantasy-league/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Pentagon: Nuke Afghanistan to End Global Warming]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/pentagon-nuke-afghanistan-to-end-global-warming/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/pentagon-nuke-afghanistan-to-end-global-warming/"><![CDATA[Pentagon: Nuke Afghanistan to End Global Warming]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[The U.S. military proposes nuking Afghanistan to end global warming. Since ancient catastrophes-exploding volcanoes and huge meteorite strikes-led to Ice Ages by spewing lots of dust into the atmosphere, the Pentagon proposes modern dust-induced cooling by creating their own catastrophe-nuking the Afghanistan desert. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 26 Aug 2010 11:34:42 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/pentagon-nuke-afghanistan-to-end-global-warming/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Adult Film Actress Nailed in Sex Trial]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/adult-film-actress-nailed-in-sex-trial/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/adult-film-actress-nailed-in-sex-trial/"><![CDATA[Adult Film Actress Nailed in Sex Trial]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[It was bound to happen eventually in this lawsuit crazy world. A porn actress in lesbian films was found guilty of sexual harassment and more for groping and talking dirty to male porn co-workers while all were completely naked in the break room between takes. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 20 Aug 2010 11:13:53 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/adult-film-actress-nailed-in-sex-trial/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[U.S. Congress Fails 7th Grade Economics Pop Quiz]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/usa-political/u-s-congress-fails-7th-grade-economics-pop-quiz/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/usa-political/u-s-congress-fails-7th-grade-economics-pop-quiz/"><![CDATA[U.S. Congress Fails 7th Grade Economics Pop Quiz]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[The American public's greatest fears were exposed this morning in a joint session of Congress when President Obama surprised lawmakers with a 7th grade basic economics pop quiz. With an average score of only 12 out of a possible 100 points, the world now knows for certain that the elected members on Capitol Hill are financially dumber than a box of rocks. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Wed, 18 Aug 2010 09:08:59 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>US Polticial Satire</category>
	<votes>2</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/usa-political/u-s-congress-fails-7th-grade-economics-pop-quiz/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Mishap Leaves Prolific Sperm Donor High and Dry]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/mishap-leaves-prolific-sperm-donor-high-and-dry/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/mishap-leaves-prolific-sperm-donor-high-and-dry/"><![CDATA[Mishap Leaves Prolific Sperm Donor High and Dry]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Seemon County's three-time Man of the Year and America's only full-time professional sperm donor, Jack Kinghoff, was left unable to perform after breaking his massive, muscular, dominant left arm last weekend. The tragic injury occurred  when Jack, having climbed a tree to get a peek into a nuns' "Just As I Am" nude prayer vigil, was struck by a priest falling from higher up. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Tue, 03 Aug 2010 09:49:00 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/mishap-leaves-prolific-sperm-donor-high-and-dry/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[LeBron James Fesses Up, "April Fools, Cleveland!"]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/lebron-james-fesses-up-april-fools-cleveland/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/lebron-james-fesses-up-april-fools-cleveland/"><![CDATA[LeBron James Fesses Up, "April Fools, Cleveland!"]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[NBA superstar LeBron James today admitted that his announced move to the Miami Heat was a huge April Fools joke. He's actually staying in Cleveland, and he considers his last month's actions to have been an audition for his next career as a daytime soap opera actor. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 23 Jul 2010 10:43:43 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/lebron-james-fesses-up-april-fools-cleveland/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Test Tube Babies Demand Own Holiday]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/test-tube-babies-demand-own-holiday/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/test-tube-babies-demand-own-holiday/"><![CDATA[Test Tube Babies Demand Own Holiday]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Test tube babies, considered by some as freaks of nature or even partially inhuman, have at last won a long and difficult battle for equality and acceptance. Worldwide greeting card manufacturers and florists, the holiday czars, have just proclaimed every August 3 to be Test Tube Baby Day.   ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Tue, 20 Jul 2010 08:01:29 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/test-tube-babies-demand-own-holiday/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Cute Baby Incapacitates Party Dude]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/social/cute-baby-incapacitates-party-dude-1/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/social/cute-baby-incapacitates-party-dude-1/"><![CDATA[Cute Baby Incapacitates Party Dude]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[A single, 26-year old man remains institutionalized with severe mental trauma inflicted when he first gazed into the adorable blue goo-goo eyes of a friend's newborn baby. He was tragically stricken just as he confronted the infant to complain about the new NO KEG party rules just instituted. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Tue, 13 Jul 2010 10:16:15 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>Social Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/social/cute-baby-incapacitates-party-dude-1/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Injuries, OSHA Force Massive NFL Rule Changes]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/injuries-osha-force-massive-nfl-rule-changes-1/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/injuries-osha-force-massive-nfl-rule-changes-1/"><![CDATA[Injuries, OSHA Force Massive NFL Rule Changes]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[OSHA, the U.S. government department overseeing workplace health and safety, has threatened a complete shutdown of America's favorite sport, professional football, over its horrific record of player injuries. The all too frequent instances of limbs ripped from sockets, bones poking through skin, and the like will no longer be tolerated by the Obama Administration. After intense negotiations, the National Football League has agreed to massive safety-related rule changes, the biggest being the elimination of ballcarrier tackling, to be replaced by flag football. Just like U.S. kids played in middle school. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Mon, 12 Jul 2010 14:34:32 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/injuries-osha-force-massive-nfl-rule-changes-1/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Taliban Under Hellacious Family Jewels Attack]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/taliban-under-hellacious-family-jewels-attack/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/taliban-under-hellacious-family-jewels-attack/"><![CDATA[Taliban Under Hellacious Family Jewels Attack]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[The New York Times recently reported a trillion dollars worth of gold and other precious metals has been found in the Afghanistan mountains, the very same mountains where the Taliban is holed up. The U.S.-led Coalition just launched its biggest and fiercest attack ever on that area--Operation Family Jewels. Coincidence? Hmmm. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Mon, 12 Jul 2010 10:55:09 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/taliban-under-hellacious-family-jewels-attack/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[The Great American Dream, 2010 Update]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/social/the-great-american-dream-2010-update/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/social/the-great-american-dream-2010-update/"><![CDATA[The Great American Dream, 2010 Update]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Unemployed and standing on the front porch of his trailer out in the middle of nowhere, a Ph.D. scientist shakes his fists and curses those Big Business SOBs who put him into this predicament. "Thanks a lot, you greedy, low-life, expletive expletives!" Weird thing is, he sincerely means it. He's living the Great American Dream 2010. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Wed, 07 Jul 2010 12:06:04 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>Social Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/social/the-great-american-dream-2010-update/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[World Court Overturns Law of the Jungle]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/world-court-overturns-law-of-the-jungle/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/world-court-overturns-law-of-the-jungle/"><![CDATA[World Court Overturns Law of the Jungle]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[The meek and intellectually challenged wildebeests of the Serengeti, represented by the African Civil Liberties Union, today won an impressive legal victory when World Court justices ruled in their favor versus grossly negligent and criminally discriminating lions. Overwhelming and highly graphic evidence clearly established that the lions were guilty of untold cases of mistreatment of the wildebeests, up to and including murder in broad daylight and heinous, unspeakable abuse of corpses. The justices immediately issued a "Cease and Desist" order, not just against the lions, but broadened to include predators all across the animal kingdom. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Tue, 29 Jun 2010 13:04:07 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>2</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/world-court-overturns-law-of-the-jungle/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Sour Pusses Abound After Female Viagra Fails]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/sour-pusses-abound-after-female-viagra-fails-1/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/sour-pusses-abound-after-female-viagra-fails-1/"><![CDATA[Sour Pusses Abound After Female Viagra Fails]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[The all-male scientists running the "female Viagra" clinical trial were left high and dry after their drug failed to show any effect on women's sex drives. Now these desperate men fear they will never, ever get laid. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 24 Jun 2010 09:57:32 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/sour-pusses-abound-after-female-viagra-fails-1/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[FIFA 2010 Rocks America...to Sleep]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/fifa-2010-rocks-america--to-sleep/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/fifa-2010-rocks-america--to-sleep/"><![CDATA[FIFA 2010 Rocks America...to Sleep]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[FIFA World Cup soccer (football) has finally made an impact in the United States in 2010. Thanks to massive hype and around-the-clock ESPN television coverage of the FIFA matches, more Americans are watching than ever before. Even more importantly, the nation's insomniacs and sleep-deprived have now discovered a magical cure--TV soccer.  Thank you, FIFA. We have never slept better. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Tue, 22 Jun 2010 09:20:41 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/fifa-2010-rocks-america--to-sleep/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Gulf Region Alarmed by Plummeting Babies]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/gulf-region-alarmed-by-plummeting-babies/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/gulf-region-alarmed-by-plummeting-babies/"><![CDATA[Gulf Region Alarmed by Plummeting Babies]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Ever since the BP Gulf oil rig disaster, the number of childbirths within 50 miles of the shore in the 4-state region has plunged to near zero.  Many attribute this reduction in deliveries to the coating of crude oil preventing area storks from being able to fly. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 03 Jun 2010 15:21:26 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/gulf-region-alarmed-by-plummeting-babies/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Scientific Proof Revealed for Why Men Stray]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/social/scientific-proof-revealed-for-why-men-stray/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/social/scientific-proof-revealed-for-why-men-stray/"><![CDATA[Scientific Proof Revealed for Why Men Stray]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Science has finally proven it correct--men think with their dicks. Jump to the critical conclusion: to prevent men from straying, all women need to do is ensure that their guy has at least one orgasm a day, preferably two. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Sat, 29 May 2010 10:45:07 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>Social Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/social/scientific-proof-revealed-for-why-men-stray/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Gulf Leak CEOs Tangle on Live TV]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/gulf-leak-ceos-tangle-on-live-tv/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/gulf-leak-ceos-tangle-on-live-tv/"><![CDATA[Gulf Leak CEOs Tangle on Live TV]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Tasers and tranquilizers were required when the three CEOs of the major companies involved in the Gulf of Mexico oil rig explosion and leak appeared on Jerry Springer's smashmouth TV talk show. Not for the audience, as is usual, but for the esteemed CEOs. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Mon, 24 May 2010 19:13:25 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/gulf-leak-ceos-tangle-on-live-tv/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Trojan Super-Condom Stops BP Oil Gusher]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/trojan-super-condom-stops-bp-oil-gusher-1/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/trojan-super-condom-stops-bp-oil-gusher-1/"><![CDATA[Trojan Super-Condom Stops BP Oil Gusher]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[A life-long commitment to whorehouses and safe sex led a FEMA supervisor to propose the ultimate solution to British Petroleum's Gulf of Mexico crude oil leak--a super-sized condom custom fabricated by Trojan Rubber Works, successfully unwrapped and rolled down onto the gushing shaft by BP mini-sub Mae West. Voila, no more leak. Problem solved. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 21 May 2010 09:35:41 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/trojan-super-condom-stops-bp-oil-gusher-1/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[New News Satire E-Book Launched]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/new-news-satire-e-book-launched/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/new-news-satire-e-book-launched/"><![CDATA[New News Satire E-Book Launched]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[News satire, fake news, and comedy website HumorVolcano.com has just launched a new e-book containing its first year's hilarious articles and essays. If you're fed up, cynical, or disillusioned, this book's for you. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Sat, 15 May 2010 16:17:15 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>2</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/new-news-satire-e-book-launched/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Bin Laden Nabbed, Terrorized by Alumni Association]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/bin-laden-nabbed-terrorized-by-alumni-association/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/bin-laden-nabbed-terrorized-by-alumni-association/"><![CDATA[Bin Laden Nabbed, Terrorized by Alumni Association]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Although he managed to evade capture by the world's great national superpowers for some twenty years, there is one manhunting organization he couldn't escape.  Last week, Osama bin Laden was successfully tracked down by his University Alumni Association, then relentlessly harassed until he coughed up an enormous "donation" in exchange for his freedom. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Wed, 12 May 2010 10:25:17 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/bin-laden-nabbed-terrorized-by-alumni-association/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Pirates Seize Coffee Supertanker, US Collapsing]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/pirates-seize-coffee-supertanker-us-collapsing/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/pirates-seize-coffee-supertanker-us-collapsing/"><![CDATA[Pirates Seize Coffee Supertanker, US Collapsing]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Once the Caribbean pirates found the US's Achilles Heel, it took only two weeks to bring the superpower nation to its knees. Those fearsome pirates seized the US-bound, largest supertanker in the world, carrying an entire year's harvest of coffee beans.  Within that mere fortnight, as its caffeinated lifeblood dwindled, the mighty Uncle Sam has collapsed onto the now-closed Starbucks sidewalk, no longer able to function. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Tue, 11 May 2010 12:12:32 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>2</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/pirates-seize-coffee-supertanker-us-collapsing/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Mob Now Top Drug Chemist Employer]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/mob-now-top-drug-chemist-employer/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/mob-now-top-drug-chemist-employer/"><![CDATA[Mob Now Top Drug Chemist Employer]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Thanks to the pharmaceutical industry laying off tens of thousands of chemists in the past couple of years, the US mafia's illegal drug business has exploded.  Snapping up these world-class drug makers to work for them, the Mob now offers the highest quality crystal meth, LSD, cocaine ever to hit the streets. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 06 May 2010 06:35:10 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/mob-now-top-drug-chemist-employer/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[U.S. Economy to Get Really High After Marijuana OK]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/u-s-economy-to-get-really-high-after-marijuana-ok-1/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/u-s-economy-to-get-really-high-after-marijuana-ok-1/"><![CDATA[U.S. Economy to Get Really High After Marijuana OK]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[The U.S. federal government has at last recognized the positive power of weed.  The feds finally legalized marijuana, soon to be sold exclusively at government-run head shops.  Enormous demand and stiff taxes will give the federal budget an enormous buzz and erase the deficit in a huge puff of smoke. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Wed, 05 May 2010 06:02:09 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>2</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/u-s-economy-to-get-really-high-after-marijuana-ok-1/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Republicans Promote Orgies to Save Social Security]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/politics/republicans-promote-orgies-to-save-social-security/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/politics/republicans-promote-orgies-to-save-social-security/"><![CDATA[Republicans Promote Orgies to Save Social Security]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Recognizing that in a mere 16 years the U.S. Social Security Administration is projected to run out of money, the Republican party hatched a brilliant plan to save the program--orgy nights, every weekend at hotels across the nation.  Join your Republican patriot leaders and make babies now to ensure lots of new taxpayers just in time to save Social Security. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Tue, 04 May 2010 05:21:29 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>Political Satire</category>
	<votes>2</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/politics/republicans-promote-orgies-to-save-social-security/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Shave Your Head to Save Big ]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/social/shave-your-head-to-save-big--1/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/social/shave-your-head-to-save-big--1/"><![CDATA[Shave Your Head to Save Big ]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[The author proposes a bold strategy to save both a considerable amount of time and money in these recessionary times by shaving one's head. Never again have a bad hair day. Never again get hair in your eyes.  The advantages are numerous. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Mon, 03 May 2010 09:09:30 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>Social Satire</category>
	<votes>2</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/social/shave-your-head-to-save-big--1/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Hollywood Starlets Go Commando in Afghanistan]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/hollywood-starlets-go-commando-in-afghanistan/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/hollywood-starlets-go-commando-in-afghanistan/"><![CDATA[Hollywood Starlets Go Commando in Afghanistan]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Well known for inciting mayhem in this country, an elite squad of Hollywood starlets is going commando in Afghanistan.  "Once them Tallywhackers get a look at these privates, they'll lay down right there, totally lose the will to fight," said Army General Seymore Beaver. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Sat, 01 May 2010 06:42:42 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/hollywood-starlets-go-commando-in-afghanistan/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Violent Video Games Groom Business Geniuses]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/violent-video-games-groom-business-geniuses/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/violent-video-games-groom-business-geniuses/"><![CDATA[Violent Video Games Groom Business Geniuses]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Now that teenage excellence in violent video games has been scientifically proven to lead to superior business skills, parents are screaming at their children to stay in their rooms and play on their computers, and business schools find themselves no longer needed. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 30 Apr 2010 06:43:03 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/violent-video-games-groom-business-geniuses/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Tornado Chasers Abandon Road For Trailer Parks]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/tornado-chasers-abandon-road-for-trailer-parks/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/tornado-chasers-abandon-road-for-trailer-parks/"><![CDATA[Tornado Chasers Abandon Road For Trailer Parks]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Tired of driving all the heck over the country trying to intercept tornados, scientists and videographers finally wised up and trusted the statistical data.  Now they just hang out in trailer parks and let the tornados come to them, a far more successful tactic.  Unless, of course, you define remaining alive as part of 'success.' ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Apr 2010 07:08:14 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/tornado-chasers-abandon-road-for-trailer-parks/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Stock Picks for 2010: Firearms and Kevlar]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/stock-picks-for-2010-firearms-and-kevlar/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/stock-picks-for-2010-firearms-and-kevlar/"><![CDATA[Stock Picks for 2010: Firearms and Kevlar]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Humor Volcano stock market gurus view 2010 as the year of financial Armageddon, when Life-As-We-Know-It disintegrates to chaos and riots.  As a result, their top stock picks are the personal firearms industry, ammo makers, Kevlar producer DuPont, and in the housing industry, corrugated refrigerator box makers. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Wed, 28 Apr 2010 08:19:49 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/stock-picks-for-2010-firearms-and-kevlar/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Bill Kicks God Out of DC]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/politics/bill-kicks-god-out-of-dc-1/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/politics/bill-kicks-god-out-of-dc-1/"><![CDATA[Bill Kicks God Out of DC]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Thanks be to the Lord on High, legislation just enacted has mandated the separation of church and state in the United States government. "God has no business in Washington, DC," says President Obama. "I'm in charge now." ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Tue, 27 Apr 2010 06:44:15 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>Political Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/politics/bill-kicks-god-out-of-dc-1/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Goats Gung-Ho Green Government Guideline]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/politics/goats-gung-ho-green-government-guideline/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/politics/goats-gung-ho-green-government-guideline/"><![CDATA[Goats Gung-Ho Green Government Guideline]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[The United States government remains at the forefront of the fight against global warming with its latest mandate--mowing of all federal properties must be done exclusively with goats. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Mon, 26 Apr 2010 05:35:15 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>Political Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/politics/goats-gung-ho-green-government-guideline/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Heathen Frat Boy Makes Pact With God]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/social/heathen-frat-boy-makes-pact-with-god/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/social/heathen-frat-boy-makes-pact-with-god/"><![CDATA[Heathen Frat Boy Makes Pact With God]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[In one of those key life-learning moments, an overly ambitious fraternity member makes an unlikely pact with God following 21 tequila shots on his 21st birthday. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Sat, 24 Apr 2010 10:15:33 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>Social Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/social/heathen-frat-boy-makes-pact-with-god/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Iffy New Auto Maintenance Store Caters to Gamblers]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/iffy-new-auto-maintenance-store-caters-to-gamblers/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/iffy-new-auto-maintenance-store-caters-to-gamblers/"><![CDATA[Iffy New Auto Maintenance Store Caters to Gamblers]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[For those who like to gamble, a new automobile maintenance store has opened just for you--Iffy Lube.  While you visit the casinos, Iffy Lube will perform their Iffy car service, Iffy oil change, Iffy filter, and Iffy lube, all backed by their Iffy guarantee. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 23 Apr 2010 06:29:19 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>2</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/iffy-new-auto-maintenance-store-caters-to-gamblers/</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Aging Boomers Fuel Dying Growth Industry]]></title>
	<link>http://thedailysatire.com/News/aging-boomers-fuel-dying-growth-industry-1/</link>
	<source url="http://thedailysatire.com/News/aging-boomers-fuel-dying-growth-industry-1/"><![CDATA[Aging Boomers Fuel Dying Growth Industry]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Death is the next great American growth industry, as the post-World War II baby boom generation enters geezerdom and starts kicking the bucket by the glorious tens of millions.  Investor excitement is soaring along with the morbidity statistics. ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 22 Apr 2010 05:10:39 -0500</pubDate>
	<author>1hvone1</author>
	<category>News Satire</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://thedailysatire.com/News/aging-boomers-fuel-dying-growth-industry-1/</guid>
</item>

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