UPDATE: Since I wrote this google has released a new privacy policy, which is now the number one reason why google is evil - read it here: http://thedailysatire.com/social/googles-new-privacy-policy/
Google's motto 'don't be evil' is well known, but so is the feeling amongst many people that they have failed to live up to this promise. Here are my half-serious half-joking top twenty reasons why I think that google is evil:
1) Google collects all sorts of information about you, sometimes including personal information, and they do it without telling you. With most websites its pretty clear what info you are giving them, and what info they are collecting using cookies (which is usually very limited), but google are the masters of collecting information about you behind your back.
2)They never throw any of that information away, even if you have. That means deleted emails from gmail accounts, and what you were searching the internet for after you got home on that night you were too drunk to remember anything after 10:30 in the evening 5 years ago.
3)They have proved in the past that they are willing to hand all that information about you over when asked, and use their info hoards to help big business 'defend their interests'.
4)Google is the king of the spammers. I don't mean those dodgy emails tyring to convince you that your manhood isn't erm, manly enough. I mean link spam. In case you didn't know a large part of the way that google decides what gets to the top of their search results pages is based on the number of links pointing towards each thing from other web pages. That means that links have value, even if noone follows them. If you own a website with a comments section, or even worse one like this where people can submit links, then you know what a headache this can cause with all sorts of idiots trying to post spam links to all sorts of rubbish. If not I'm sure you've come across this link spam on social networks, in forums, in the comments section of blogs, and in all sorts of other places. Ihats all because of google (and the other search engines, but mainly google).
5) Google thinks it knows better than me. They used to ask me if I had made a spelling mistake sometimes - now they don't even ask, they just offer me the search results for what they think I meant. I don't like the idea of machines that think they know better than me. Especially when they are usually right.
6) They squish the little guy. Anyone who has started a website knows how hard it is to get visitors because so many people come through google and google gives big preference to established 'authority sites' - meaning the little guy barely stands a chance.
7)They are watching you right now. Isn't that just a little bit creepy?
8) Because they claim not to be. This is one of the worst in my eyes. They pretend to be all about sharing the knowledge and all fluffy nice things. But they are a giant company who are legally obliged to drain every last drop of profit from their users for their shareholders. They want you to forget that, but you shouldn't.
9) They are not even remotely transparent. Of course they do have good reasons for needing to keep their ranking algorhythm secret, but still.
10) Power corrupts, and google have too much of it.
11) They are the establishment, and they work to protect the establishment. That includes the fact that the web should be all about innovation and instant spread of new ideas, but gives a big advantage not only to older authority websites, but to older pages and other content on the internet. This entrenches the establishment and makes it harder for new ideas to spread.
12) They copy everyone else's innovations when they think they may work, and then try to use their giant size to squish the innovator.
13) They sacrifice children to Lucifer. (Ok, so I didn't quite have twenty reasons and I may have invented a couple to make up the numbers).
14) They have double standards, imposing stricter rules for website owners that carry their adverts than they do on their own sites like YouTube.
15) They want to control all the information on the internet, moving as much as possible onto their own servers. Google books may sound like its based on a noble idea, but really its about them taking control of every bit of info, public domain and otherwise.
16) They killed my puppy (that one's true, honest)
17) They've done deals with oppressive regimes in the past to help them control the spread of information in return for the chance to profit.
18) Because they are not transparent, and because pleasing google makes so much difference to the number of visitors a site gets, online content producers who succeed are often the ones that dedicate the majority of their time trying to work out what google wants. The ones that just make good content don't get the google rankings.
19) Because we are - have you seen some of the suggestions that come up when you start typing in a search? They are only reflecting what we are searching for, but cos so many of us are evil, that makes google evil too.
20) Number 20 has ot yet been allocated. Please leave your suggestions below.
(thanks to http://www.adrants.com/2008/04/google-hate-website-is-back-in-business.php for the image, which I found using google search, of course)... OPEN LINK
