Middle-aged men unsure how to control their penis can look forward to a Christmas stocking filled with helpful hints from George Galloway, publishers confirmed today.Hot on the heels of his clarification of the Julian Assange sexual assault charged, Galloway will now turn his attention to making sure men everywhere understand when it is acceptable to push forward to ‘insertion’.His pu.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK
Best Satire Stories For: health,uk,drugs,smoking,cars,driving
Posted by Imp (#4) 275 days ago (http://newsthump.com)
Posted by Imp (#4) 330 days ago (http://newsthump.com)
Some NHS hospitals are still failing to profit from other people’s misfortune, according to auditors for healthcare trusts.
Despite longer waiting times increasing the income from car parks, many hospitals in England are still doggedly treating people without a thought for the bottom line, with the possible exception of colorectal units.
Health secretary Andrew Lansley believes that administr.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK
Posted by Imp (#4) 345 days ago (http://newsthump.com)
The Olympic opening ceremony will be inspired by the British countryside, and will feature a burnt-out Ford Mondeo and at least one abandoned fridge.Leaked details suggest the action will also include a train of twenty drivers angrily trying to get past a tractor on a narrow country lane.A cast of 10,000 volunteers will help recreate instantly recognisable scenes from the British countryside, inc.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK
Olympics organising committee LOCOG has courted further controversy by announcing a new sponsorship deal which will see the word ‘Olympic’ appear only in officially-sanctioned dictionaries.The move comes just hours after Visa were criticised for removing 27 ATMs around the London 2012 venue because they didn’t belong to them, an official sponsor.A LOCOG spokesperson said, “.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK
Posted by Imp (#4) 374 days ago (http://newsthump.com)
As plans were unveiled for a minimum 50p charge per unit of alcohol in Scotland, residents have insisted that in return they’d like home-brewing to become a key skill for all young Scots.
The price move is seen as a way of combating the desire of Scottish people to drink to the point where they no longer realise they’re in Scotland.
The change will see even the rankest four pack of beer costi.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK
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