Best Satire Stories For: illuminati,conspiracy,conspiracy theory,uk
Lloyds Banking Group has reported a £3.9bn loss for the first nine months of 2011, mainly due to the cost of settling claims for continually treating you like a piece of shit simpleton.
The loss compares to a £2bn profit for the same period last year when it was still consistently getting away with being a shit to customers looking for loans.
City analyst David Singleton-Smythe told us, “I’.. VIEW STORY PAGE |
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The UK’s border control agency, UKBA, has admitted that it might be employing illegal immigrants to trace their own movements.
Despite the use of CCTV, datametrics and Doris in the canteen who never forgets a face, many of these staff haven’t been seen for weeks.
“A lot of our employees are having to work covertly. They adopt a fake name and go deep undercover, normally around the time that.. VIEW STORY PAGE |
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Dietitians claim up to 4,000 lives a year could be saved in Scotland, if people adopted ‘a more English’ diet of hastily consumed pre-packed service station pastries.
People have reacted angrily to the latest attack on Scottish cuisine and the report’s writers are braced for a battering.
“The English tradition of arriving two hours late for a meeting with flakes of pastry and carrot all down .. VIEW STORY PAGE |
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The chancellor of St Paul’s Cathedral is to step down from his post after acting in a way that is supposed to be synonymous with the Christian faith.
Reports suggest that Canon Dr Giles Fraser, who has been sympathetic to the protest camp outside the London landmark, considers his position untenable after mistakenly practising what he preaches.
Dr Fraser, who angered other members of the cler.. VIEW STORY PAGE |
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Travellers who have remained stationary for the last ten years are being forced to do what their name would suggest they are supposed to.
The travellers lost a last-ditch attempt to stave off eviction from the Dale Farm site after a Court of Appeal insisted that if they wanted to be referred to as travellers they would have to at least move around a little bit.
Basildon Council have accused t.. VIEW STORY PAGE |
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An 85 year-old woman from Windsor has revealed that news of a new Sovereign Grant has given her peace of mind that she will be cosy and warm during the winter despite the soaring price of energy.
The woman, also known as the Queen, has expressed her delight that she will be able to heat her numerous homes even if she’s not in them.
“If I wanted to whack up the thermostat full blast, open all .. VIEW STORY PAGE |
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