Best Satire Stories For: john terry

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John Terry uses Jeremy Hunt defence to justify sending off

Posted by Imp (#4) 393 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

John Terry has used a similar defence to Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt to justify his sending off in last night’s game against Barcelona, by insisting that he did nothing wrong despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
“It doesn’t look good,” admitted the Chelsea captain.
“It might look like I’m violently driving my knee into Alexis Sanchez, but hopefully the people out there who know me, .. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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John Terry stripped of Captain Shagger title by FA

Posted by Imp (#4) 474 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

John Terry has been stripped of his Captain Shagger title by the FA after a series of poor performances in nightclubs across the country.

FA spokesman Dominic Harland said, “Recently we’ve seen Terry pictured in the papers a lot more with his wife and children, and a lot less with glamour models”.
“Allegations of torrid affairs with team-mates’ ex-partners have really dried up. We need to se.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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Terry cleared to play all-white Sweden

Posted by Imp (#4) 556 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

England captain John Terry has been recalled to the starting line-up for tonight’s friendly after scouting reports suggested that Sweden will field an all-white line-up.

With controversy surrounding an FA investigation into Terry’s alleged use of racial slurs against QPRs Anton Ferdinand, Capello was keen to ensure there was no possibility of repeat in the International stage.

At the team p.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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John Terry legal team insist he’s equally despicable to all races

Posted by Imp (#4) 567 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

The legal team behind John Terry’s defence against a potential racism charge will aim to show that he is equally awful to people of all skin colours.

The Metropolitan police have begun a formal investigation into allegations against Terry, after someone told them they had to.
However the team defending the England captain have been quick to outline their defence strategy.

Lawyer Simon Matt.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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