Best Satire Stories For: olympics/

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Shock as public discovers that Olympic torch bearers quite like money

Posted by Imp (#5) 1 day 12 hours ago (http://newsthump.com)

Sociologists are hailing a significant breakthrough in the understanding of human nature, after finding out that people carrying the Olympic torch also quite like having lots of money.

With torches listed on eBay for as much as £100,000, those lucky enough to have been given one to carry for 300 metres have said that a memories of their experience and a souvenir and is nice, but not quite as n.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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News Satire | uk sports olympics All

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Olympic setback as Beckham blows out flame, makes wish

Posted by Imp (#5) 6 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

Plans to carry a burning stick through Britain for all the proles to gawp at faced a setback today, after David Beckham assumed it must be his birthday.

While the Olympic flame has been accidentally extinguished in the past, it’s the first time such an incident has been marked with excited clapping, and demands for jelly and ice-cream.
Surrounded by people who eat canapés for a living, amongs.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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News Satire | olympics david beckham All

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Olympic rooftop missiles ‘stolen by scrap metal dealers’

Posted by Imp (#5) 18 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

Police and Olympic officials have been searching for a battery of surface-to-air missiles that had been installed on London rooftops in order to safeguard the games.

It is thought that the missiles, or ‘Boris Bombs,’ were taken for scrap metal, the value of which has rocketed in the past year.
A resident of the flats below, Jed Ahmed said “there were some dodgy blokes with a lorry going up an.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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News Satire | sports olympics britain All

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MoD to stop hijacked planes crashing during the Olympics by firing missiles at them

Posted by Imp (#5) 22 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

Surface-to-air missiles could be deployed at five sites across London to ensure that any devastation caused by airborne terrorist attacks don’t affect the Olympic games, only the surrounding areas inhabited by people that don’t have tickets.
Exercise Olympic Guardian is being held this week to see if it is possible to stop a plane falling out of the sky by blowing it back upwards.
Defence Secre.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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News Satire | sports olympics terrorism All

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New 2012 50p's Aimed at Women

Posted by Newsattack (#11) 136 days ago (Editorial)

The childishly cutesy pictures on the new 50ps are targeting getting the unfit and sportless into exercise.

Janet Tyler said "I saw this drawing on the back of a 50p and thought "aww he looks nice", even though it looks like he's breaking his on a fence. It's something called the "high jump" or something. This happens at the "Olympics". I have seen adverts for it, but I thought that the rings.. VIEW STORY PAGE | (Editorial)

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News Satire | olympics london 2012 All

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Al-Qaeda Unsuccessful In Bid to Get Tickets For 2012 Olympics

Posted by admin (#1) 275 days ago (http://www.mostlylegit.com)

LONDON – London Metropolitan Police have been given a major boost ahead of the 2012 Olympics after reports confirmed groups with possible links to al-Qaeda have failed to get any ‘decent’ tickets for the most popular events.

The terrorist organisation were understood to be plotting large scale terror attacks at popular events during the London games, but it has since emerged that due to extrem.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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News Satire | alqaeda unsuccessful bid tickets olympics 2012 All

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