Middle-aged men unsure how to control their penis can look forward to a Christmas stocking filled with helpful hints from George Galloway, publishers confirmed today.Hot on the heels of his clarification of the Julian Assange sexual assault charged, Galloway will now turn his attention to making sure men everywhere understand when it is acceptable to push forward to ‘insertion’.His pu.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK
Best Satire Stories For: sports,uk,football
Posted by Imp (#4) 273 days ago (http://newsthump.com)
Posted by Imp (#4) 341 days ago (http://newsthump.com)
Culture secretary Jeremy Hunt has welcomed the Olympic organisers’ announcement that ‘under budget’ now means ‘spending four times more than originally quoted and 75% of all contingency funding’.
From an original budget of £2.4bn, organisers say that keeping just 25% of the £2bn contingency fund on top of the already spent £7.3bn actual cost is a ‘proper result’.
Financial Analyst at LOCOG, S.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK
Posted by Imp (#4) 343 days ago (http://newsthump.com)
The Olympic opening ceremony will be inspired by the British countryside, and will feature a burnt-out Ford Mondeo and at least one abandoned fridge.Leaked details suggest the action will also include a train of twenty drivers angrily trying to get past a tractor on a narrow country lane.A cast of 10,000 volunteers will help recreate instantly recognisable scenes from the British countryside, inc.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK
Posted by Imp (#4) 344 days ago (http://newsthump.com)
England manager Roy Hodgson has urged the Liverpool players amongst his 23-man squad not to recapture the form that they showed last season as England prepare to face France in their opening match at Euro 2012 later today.
With England’s starting eleven expected to feature Glen Johnson, Steven Gerrard and Stewart Downing, and with striker Andy Carroll on the bench as a non-impact substitute, H.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK
Olympics organising committee LOCOG has courted further controversy by announcing a new sponsorship deal which will see the word ‘Olympic’ appear only in officially-sanctioned dictionaries.The move comes just hours after Visa were criticised for removing 27 ATMs around the London 2012 venue because they didn’t belong to them, an official sponsor.A LOCOG spokesperson said, “.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK
Fans of Blackburn Rovers are facing charges of animal cruelty after forcing a chicken to endure the humiliation of wearing a Blackburn Rovers football shirt.
The Chicken was subjected to the ordeal during yesterday’s game against Wigan, in which Blackburn were relegated to the Championship.
The chicken was eventually rescued by an RSPCA officer, who took the distressed bird for counselling wi.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK
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