Best Satire Stories For: sports

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Clattenburg vows to become Manchester United’s first choice referee

Posted by Imp (#4) 815 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

After telling the FA that he took appropriate action against Wayne Rooney for elbowing Wigan’s James McCarthy, referee Mark Clattenburg has vowed to make the position of Manchester United’s first choice referee his own.
The FA cannot now launch disciplinary proceedings against Rooney and this has led for calls from the club’s supporters to give him a extended run as Man United’s number one offic.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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English footballing humiliation to remain free-to-air

Posted by Imp (#4) 827 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

The European General Court (EGC) has ruled that English football fans can continue to watch their distinctly-average International football team implode at major events on free-to-air television for the foreseeable future.
Fifa and Uefa had challenged a decision allowing the UK government to designate the World Cup and European Championships as free-to-watch events.
They had been hoping to emp.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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Headbutt ensures Gennaro Gattuso retains honorary Glaswegian status

Posted by Imp (#4) 828 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

Despite leaving Glasgow Rangers 12 years ago AC Milan captain Gennaro Gattuso last night retained his honorary Glaswegian status by headbutting Joe Jordan after their Champions League clash with Tottenham Hotspur.
Gattuso clashed with Tottenham coach Jordan after his side were beaten 1-0 in the first leg of their last 16 match.
“It warms your heart, it really does.” said Rangers season ticket h.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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Arsenal fans on verge of becoming insufferable

Posted by Imp (#4) 828 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

Arsenal fans basking in the glow of a Champions League victory against Barcelona are said to be on the verge of attaining levels of smugness not seen since their team went the 2003-04 season undefeated.
A 2-1 win against the team recognised by many as the best in the world has elevated supporters to levels of football snobbery not seen in the Highbury area of London for nearly seven years.
Foot.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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West Ham Fans demand to sit further from the pitch

Posted by Imp (#4) 830 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

West Ham supporters have reacted with dismay to the news of their club’s successful bid for the Olympic Stadium, after it was revealed that the playing surface will actually be visible from parts of the ground.
Supporters groups have threatened to boycott the venue altogether unless Hammers bosses shift the stands further away from the pitch.
“It’s a disgrace,” fumed 38 year old Ken Pond from C.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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I don’t want to discuss relegation, or any other words with an R in them, insists Hodgson

Posted by Imp (#4) 833 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

Newly appointed West Brom boss Roy Hodson has confirmed that he does not wish to talk about relegation, or any other phrases with an R in them, such as ‘drop zone’ and ‘Premier League trap door’.
Hodgson revealed that his decision to join the Premier League strugglers was a difficult one, given the prominent R in their name, but he is confident he can oversee a “volte-face” in the club’s fortune.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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