Best Satire Stories For: sports

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Newcastle unveil Shefki Kuqi to crowd of cheering Sunderland fans

Posted by Imp (#4) 858 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

Newcastle have unveiled their new signing, Shefki Kuqi, to a crowd of thousands of cheering Sunderland fans keen to provide the Finnish international with a hero’s welcome.
Newcastle, who recently sold Andy Carroll to Liverpool for the sum of £35m, have pulled out all the stops in finding a replacement for their former Number nine by signing the former Stockport hotshot, whose contract with Swan.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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Torres is worth at least eight unicorns and an invisibility cloak, claims Benitez

Posted by Imp (#4) 862 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

Former Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez has made himself available for another top managerial position by insisting that Fernando Torres is worth significantly more than the ludicrous amount Chelsea paid for him.
Benitez was talking to the BBC’s Football Focus show in between periods of running around the room in a black cape insisting everyone call him ‘Batboy’.
Commentators have suggested the move.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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Redknapp lauds ‘outstanding’ one touch performance of Spanish muggers

Posted by Imp (#4) 875 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

Tottenham Hotspur manager Harry Redknapp has lauded the ‘outstanding’ one touch tiki-taka performance of the muggers who robbed him in Madrid, claiming their slick movement was some of the most productive he had ever witnessed.
Redknapp, 63, who was with his assistant Kevin Bond to see the Spanish capital’s two main teams, Real and Athletico play in the Copa del Rey, believes English muggers cou.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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West Ham committed to keeping Avram Grant as long people keep saying ‘No’

Posted by Imp (#4) 882 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

West Ham have given their complete support to under fire manager Avram Grant, insisting he will get their full backing just as long as the people they approach to do his job keep saying ‘No’.
There has been much speculation regarding his position, but the club have issued a statement this morning which laid to rest rumours of a new manager by telling fans that Grant has their complete backing as.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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Beckham mortified as wife makes plans for similar UK return

Posted by Imp (#4) 895 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

David Beckham has voiced his gut-wrenching disappointment at his wife’s decision to join him in England, completely ruining his hopes for three months of marital bliss whilst on loan at Tottenham Hotspur.
For each of the last two years, the former England captain has enjoyed much needed breaks away from his professional coat-hanger partner and understandably, had been hoping to do the same again.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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Allow me to lose games with my own players, pleads Liverpool’s Hodgson

Posted by Imp (#4) 895 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

Under-fire Liverpool boss Roy Hodgson has today begged the club’s owners to allow him to assemble a squad of players capable of losing games his way, rather than in the fluid passing style favoured by former wing-nut Rafael Benitez.
Hodgson believes it is unfair to base criticism of his troubled reign purely on results he has achieved, insisting the gracious way in which his team has repeatedly .. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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