Best Satire Stories For: uk, england, cemetery, bury, dead, space, ground, parliament

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George Galloway’s Guide To Sexual Etiquette to be ready for Christmas

Posted by Imp (#4) 276 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

Middle-aged men unsure how to control their penis can look forward to a Christmas stocking filled with helpful hints from George Galloway, publishers confirmed today.Hot on the heels of his clarification of the Julian Assange sexual assault charged, Galloway will now turn his attention to making sure men everywhere understand when it is acceptable to push forward to ‘insertion’.His pu.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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Olympic opening ceremony to feature ‘fly-tipping and abandoned cars’

Posted by Imp (#4) 346 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

The Olympic opening ceremony will be inspired by the British countryside, and will feature a burnt-out Ford Mondeo and at least one abandoned fridge.Leaked details suggest the action will also include a train of twenty drivers angrily trying to get past a tractor on a narrow country lane.A cast of 10,000 volunteers will help recreate instantly recognisable scenes from the British countryside, inc.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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England players practised disappointed faces in training, reveals Hodgson

Posted by Imp (#4) 347 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

England manager Roy Hodgson has urged the Liverpool players amongst his 23-man squad not to recapture the form that they showed last season as England prepare to face France in their opening match at Euro 2012 later today.

With England’s starting eleven expected to feature Glen Johnson, Steven Gerrard and Stewart Downing, and with striker Andy Carroll on the bench as a non-impact substitute, H.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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LOCOG announces word ‘Olympics’ will appear only in officially-licensed dictionaries

Posted by Imp (#4) 355 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

Olympics organising committee LOCOG has courted further controversy by announcing a new sponsorship deal which will see the word ‘Olympic’ appear only in officially-sanctioned dictionaries.The move comes just hours after Visa were criticised for removing 27 ATMs around the London 2012 venue because they didn’t belong to them, an official sponsor.A LOCOG spokesperson said, “.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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United States To End All Manned Missions To Space Mountain

Posted by admin (#1) 367 days ago (http://www.mostlylegit.com)

DISNEYLAND - In a blow for U.S. space ambitions, the White House has confirmed it will end all manned missions to Space Mountain from 2013.

The decision is part of ongoing changes in the national space policy which document the withdrawal of American interests in a number of space themed rides due to budgets reductions.

Although a disappointment to many, Americans aged sev.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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Katie Price divorce lawyer books Rolls Royce test drive

Posted by Imp (#4) 389 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

Katie Price’s divorce lawyer has reacted to the news of her latest engagement by pondering which leather trim would look best on the new Rolls Royce he will now definitely be buying later this year.Price announced her engagement to Argentinian model Leandro Penna, before insisting this one is for keeps, unlike all the other ones which were also for keeps.She told reporters, “I am in l.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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