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The Ping Pong Playing Baby

Posted by weirdoddtruenews (#6) 5 hours ago (http://www.youtube.com)

This baby is better at ping pong than me. And I learned to play ping pong from Thai hookers - and they can beat most Chinese Olympians without even using the bat.

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Queen commemorates over 60 years on benefits

Posted by Imp (#4) 5 hours ago (http://newsthump.com)

The Queen has visited a town hall in King’s Lynn and the nearby Dersingham Infant and Nursery School as part of her celebrations to mark 60 years of receiving an enormous amount of money at the taxpayer’s expense.

The Queen, who has been the head of the UK’s most prolific family of benefit claimants since 1952, said she felt “deeply moved” by the amount of cash she has received over the years

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Dr Ian Paisley refusing to take part in the resuscitation process

Posted by Imp (#4) 5 hours ago (http://newsthump.com)

The former first minister and leader of the DUP, Ian Paisley, was last night refusing to enter into eleventh hour negotiations to save his life, so he was.
Dr Paisley, 85, suffered a heart attack at his Ulster home after reading that a former member of the popular music combo Boyzone had been a practising homosexual.
Despite lapsing in and out of consciousness, the firebrand preacher resisted t

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Parents rush to send children hurtling down snow-covered hills

Posted by Imp (#4) 1 day 2 hours 8 minutes ago (http://newsthump.com)

With many parts of the country covered in snow over the weekend, normally protective parents with young children have been quick to head to their nearest park and push their offspring down hills.

“We don’t get that much snow in this country, so when we do it’s important to take advantage of the opportunity to shove the kids down as steep a hill as we can find”, said one mum, who is usually so

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William sent to Falklands to shout “Come on then!” across exclusion zone

Posted by Imp (#4) 2 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

Prince William has been deployed to the Falkland Islands to shout “Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough!” across the 200 mile exclusion zone surrounding the islands.

The second-in-line to the throne is a pilot with the RAF and has received special training in jabbing his forefinger out of the helicopter and shouting, “Oi! Are you looking at our islands?”
UK Defence Secretary Ph

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John Terry stripped of Captain Shagger title by FA

Posted by Imp (#4) 2 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

John Terry has been stripped of his Captain Shagger title by the FA after a series of poor performances in nightclubs across the country.

FA spokesman Dominic Harland said, “Recently we’ve seen Terry pictured in the papers a lot more with his wife and children, and a lot less with glamour models”.
“Allegations of torrid affairs with team-mates’ ex-partners have really dried up. We need to se

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