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Osborne agrees to leave petrol at current painfully extortionate prices

Posted by Imp (#4) 330 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

Chancellor George Osborne has announced that a planned 3p increase in fuel duty will be delayed until January, ensuring that for the rest of the year weeping forecourt users will only have to endure current levels of extortion.
Osborne said he had listened to the ‘man on the street’ in between the sobbing and begging, and had decided that perhaps now is not the right time to shove his fist furth.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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GCSEs to be replaced by ‘exams’

Posted by Imp (#4) 334 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

The popular GCSE loyalty scheme could soon be replaced by ‘examinations’, according to government sources.
Michael Gove unveiled plans for a radical shake-up of Britain’s schools, suggesting that pupils should leave with a collection of certificates that reflect their abilities in different subjects.
“I propose replacing the current system of ‘schools’ with an organisation that educates, tests .. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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Cameron accidentally leaves Clegg running country “for about 15 minutes”

Posted by Imp (#4) 345 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

David Cameron has admitted that he accidentally left Nick Clegg on his own in Downing Street, effectively in charge of the country “for about 15 minutes”.

The Prime Minister said the mix-up occurred when he and George Osborne left Number 10 in separate cars and each thought the Lib Dem leader was with the other.
“It was only when we got to our meeting at the Home Office that we realised our m.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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Riot police to be armed with bulletproof Jeremy Hunts

Posted by Imp (#4) 363 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

After it emerged that Jeremy Hunt is completely impenetrable when under intense fire, the Home Office have revealed plans to arm riot police with replicas of the culture secretary as a means of protection.

It is hoped that the move will help police deflect any missiles and ammunition that is thrown or fired at them during any kind of civil unrest.
“Jeremy Hunt has been under continuous attack.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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Brooks reveals Cameron thought ‘WTF’ meant Wow That’s Fantastic

Posted by Imp (#4) 377 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

Former News International executive Rebekah Brooks has told the Leveson enquiry that texts from David Cameron were far more entertaining before someone told him what ‘WTF’ really stood for.
Giving evidence, she claimed that texts from the Prime Minister always provided a good chuckle around the News International offices.

She told the enquiry, “I remember texting him one day to tell him that .. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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No Dave, the message was ‘piss off’, electorate tells Prime Minister

Posted by Imp (#4) 381 days ago (http://newsthump.com)

After Prime Minister David Cameron insisted that he ‘got the message’ following the Conservatives’ mauling at last week’s local elections, voters have highlighted that the fact he hasn’t resigned yet suggests otherwise.
The public have reacted to Mr Cameron’s insistence that they were sending him a message to provide ‘focus, delivery and hard work’, by revealing it was more a message of ‘resign,.. VIEW STORY PAGE | OPEN LINK

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