Michael Fruciano: The Next Governor of Colorado?

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Michael Fruciano: The Next Governor of Colorado?

Posted by TheDailyShadow (#2) 114 days ago (Editorial)

A surprise frontrunner has emerged today to become the next Governor of Colorado. Mr Michael Fruciano, a business man and keen sportsman from Denver CO, has shocked the political and media establishments by winning a nomination and endorsement from Fox news.

Fruciano, who is spending today locked away at home with his wife and two children and is not answering press enquiries, is thought to have absolutely no experience in politics and even less of an aptitude to do a good job within this demanding profession. He is thought to have won the nomination during a series of negotiations at the clubhouse of an undisclosed golf course. Although the exact content of these negotiations is still unclear, speculation across the internet this morning suggest that Fruciano, who is well known as a master negotiator, had to get a lot of people very drunk.

When asked about Mr Fruciano’s policy stances Michelle, a spokeswoman for the fledgling campaign, told a hastily assembled press conference: “poly what? He’s not like Newt Gingrich you know, Mr Fruciano is a one woman man.”

Despite a clear lack of policy Fruciano is being lauded as the clear front-runner in the campaign to win the governorship of Colorado after winning the backing of local tea party activists. When questioned about this unusual development a tea party spokesman told the assembled press that “we are sick of politicians sticking their noses into other people’s business and interfering with other people’s lives. We want to get rid of big government. We have had clear signals that Mr Fruciano just wants to win because he loves winning. He has absolutely no interest in actually being the governor of Colorado and will not just leave Colorado to get on with running itself if he is elected. He told us that he would probably just take the salary and spend it on skiing trips and then get on with running his own business. And that is exactly why we are supporting his campaign – because the last person we should choose to run Colorado is someone who actually want to run Colorado. We can no longer trust the important job of politics to politicians.”

But The Daily Satire can exclusively reveal that Michael Fruciano’s ambitions do not stop at the governor’s mansion in Colorado, and that he sees this job as a springboard to run for president. It is thought that his desire to run for president was ignited during the recent Republican party debates, when he realized that any idiot can run for president.
.. (Editorial)

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Michael Fruciano: The Next Governor of Colorado?

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