Only moments after being released from mandatory house arrest, former IMF chief, Strauss-Khan, and his motorcade sped to the Bronx Zoo.
When questioned about the urgency of this zoo visit, a Struass-Khan representative stated that the former IMF chief "did not have an extramarital tryst with a snow leopard.”
The representative went on to say that “even if Mr. Strauss-Khan did have what Americans would consider an inappropriate relationship with a snow leopard involving touching, petting, and panting, the relationship was consensual.”
When questioned, Jasmine the Snow Leopard confirmed that she had participated in a relationship with the Mr. Strauss Khan, stating that his French accent, beguiling sense of humor, and thick mane of white hair clouded her judgment. In a moment of weakness, she gave in to Mr. Struass-Khan’s repeated advancements but instantly regretted her actions.
Jake Huntley, an animal activist with PETA, described Mr. Strauss-Khan’s alleged relationship with Jasmine the Snow Leopard as disturbing, scientifically intriguing, and personally alluring. “I would jump at the chance to date Jasmine the Snow Leopard, but she never looked at me that way. I guess she always put me in the dreaded ‘friend’ category. But I have needs, wild untamed needs, ” stated a frustrated Huntley.
Although not immediately available for comment, when reached later by phone, Mr. Strauss-Khan became philosophical, quoting the French ecclesiastic preacher, journalist, and political activiste Jean-Baptiste Lacordaire: "The affections are like lightning: you cannot tell where they will strike till they have fallen."
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